The butterfly hug: a simple self-soothing technique

The butterfly hug was developed by Mexican psychotherapist Lucina Artigas and her colleague Ignacio Jarero in 1998, after Hurricane Pauline. Working with large groups of children in shelters, they needed a way to offer calming left-right stimulation without touching anyone, so they taught the children to cross their arms and tap their own shoulders, like the wings of a butterfly [1].

It's now used by therapists as part of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), and many people use it on its own as a simple way to self-soothe.

How to do it

Sit or stand somewhere comfortable. You can close your eyes or keep a soft gaze on the floor.

1. Cross your arms over your chest. Cross your arms so that your middle fingers rest just below each collarbone, or hold your upper arms. Interlock your thumbs if you like, so your hands look like a butterfly.
2. Tap one side, then the other. Gently tap with one hand, then the other, alternating left and right, slowly, at whatever pace feels soothing.
3. Breathe slowly. Breathe slowly and comfortably through your nose while you tap. Notice the sensation of each tap.
4. Stop when you feel steadier. Continue for about 30 seconds to a couple of minutes, then rest your hands and take one more slow breath.

What it can and can't do

The research on the butterfly hug comes almost entirely from its use inside EMDR protocols, delivered by trained clinicians to people with trauma, often in groups after disasters [1][2]. In that setting, the tapping is one part of a structured therapy, not the therapy itself.

Used on its own, the butterfly hug is best thought of as a gentle grounding and self-soothing gesture: rhythmic, physical and private. Many people find it calming, but there's little research testing it on its own for everyday anxiety, so we don't make claims beyond that.

When it's worth using

• When you feel overwhelmed and want something physical to focus on.
• Alongside slow breathing, to give your hands something to do.
• Before sleep, as a quiet wind-down.

Safety

If tapping brings up distressing memories or feelings, stop, open your eyes and look around the room, and use a grounding technique instead. Working through traumatic memories is something to do with a trained therapist, not on your own.

In MoodFire

MoodFire's Unwind tool offers a related idea through sound: calming tracks that move gently between your left and right ears. Like the butterfly hug on its own, it's designed as a way to wind down, not as EMDR or a treatment.

Common questions

Is the butterfly hug the same as EMDR?

No. EMDR is a structured therapy for trauma delivered by a trained clinician. The butterfly hug is one way of providing left-right stimulation within EMDR, and on its own it's a self-soothing technique.

How fast should I tap?

Slowly, at a pace that feels calming to you. There's no single right speed.

Can I do it in public?

Yes. You can make the movements small, or tap your thighs alternately instead of your shoulders.